1999: In the Beginning

15 December

          Well, now that I have a new place to whine, I figured I'd take advantage of it. And in a way it'll save me a little work for my web page-- I won't have to add new pages every time I do an entry or do all these snazzy graphics or anything. Something like that. Anyway, till I get my shit together, this is it. The sarcasm is starting to drip from the walls. Very slowly.

20 December

          The semester finally ended. I'm not sure exactly how to feel about that because I still feel like I have to go back tomorrow and go back to the same old bullshit. But I don't. It's a feeling I think that I'll have again when I graduate. That's for another day, though.

          I'm working on my web page, adding things here and there. I'm hoping to get it updated fully before the new year, but since I'm on vacation I don't really know what kind of motivation I'll have. Maybe.

          I really hope to start writing while I'm home, feel productive. Ever since last month, I've been in the zone again. And I'll really hate it when I'm not. Maybe if I think myself never being in a block, I'll never get there. A girl can dream...

          Anyway, I guess I could vent. I'm done with school. So, that's out of the way for three weeks, and then it's back to the grind.

          But I had a really weird week. I had a final on Wednesday afternoon, and it went by pretty well. A little too quick for my taste, but oh well. I'm getting an evaluation for that class anyway. What was weird though was that my ex called me. Now, I'm going to play the pronoun game and not give his name to the world. But the long and the short of it was that we went out for 3 months and then I went back to school and he couldn't handle it. About a month ago he started dating this girl and only told me about this this week. But I'm getting ahead. So I'd only met this girl once, but never talked to her. She seemed nice to me, but wasn't very social. So of course I was upset because he'd contradicted a lot of things that he'd said. Typical male.

          I'm not trying to make him look like a bad guy. He's not. But let me put it this way. He's older than me, and very confused, and every time I talk to him I end up telling him things that I was telling myself when I was 17. Strange, but true. Which brings me back to this week. So, ever since he'd gotten a girlfriend, he'd only talked to me... oh, about 3 times in a month, as opposed to the sort-of pact that we'd made when we broke up that we would be friends. We WERE close, that was before he decided to go into girlfriend hybernation. Like a typical friend.

          So after not being home for a couple of weeks (I go home on the weekends and I didn't go home last weekend), he decides to call me on Thursday. We end up talking about a lot of different subjects-- me, him, school, life, his girlfriend, my involuntary celibacy, trying to just be here-- and it was actually really nice to feel like friends again.

          I sleep in Friday, study and pack, and take my final Saturday morning. I get home and my flatmate, who is also from Vegas and had gotten in Friday afternoon, leaves a message on my machine telling me that she would like to be the first one to tell me that my ex and his girlfriend have broken up.

          I, of course, was laughing my ass off, because it was the breakup was on the same day that he'd talked to me on the phone.

          So I've been home for a day now, and I feel in the Holiday Spirit finally. Funny that.

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