wish you were here

I never thought putting a trip together would be so complicated.

Oh, and I can get that bookshelf that I wanted… how can I get so excited about putting furniture in a room?

Why can’t we be as excited about football– er, soccer– as we are about tennis?

I’m just hoping I can get some stuff moved into the rooms today, even if it’s just little things. Mostly I just want to get my bed in there before I leave because it’s basically going to set the tone of how the rest of the room is going to be laid out.

And then… California. Blessed road trip.

Even got a little bit of work done. Time for bowling.

Is it strange to be happy that your carpets are being cleaned today?

And I almost forgot to mention: I need a nap.

I made a dent in the cleaning, the appraiser came by, and Stanley Steemer’s coming over tomorrow. I just hope I get everything done at a proper time so I can try and get to bed a little early tonight.

I think I feel more displaced with everything actually inside the house as opposed to the four years of college that I was essentially living out of boxes and bags and suitcases. What I’m really hoping is that this will be the last time I’ll have to move things around in a major way for a long time. I want to feel like I’m living in this house for once. It’s a weird feeling to be able to make decisions about where things are going, setting things up to how I want them. I’m consulting very little with my brother, mostly because I think he’s shocked that I made a decision. Finally. And some of the stuff that’s here is his, so I don’t want to commandeer it, even if it is under my roof.

And in a way I think he feels like he’s teaching me how to take care of myself, which makes sense since my brother was always the one who was self-reliant and street smart but I was the bookworm who tried to watch for other people’s mistakes so that I didn’t make them.

My friends are suggesting that I get a pet. I can barely take care of myself right now, let alone another life. But I’m trying. I’m trying to get the hang of it.

My house is complete and utter chaos right now.

I bribed Kim, Brandon, Greg, and Nick into coming over to move shit by cooking food for them. And it worked well– all the major furniture that I didn’t think would get all moved out is sitting in the middle of the house. Today an appraiser’s coming over for the lawyers since we’re still getting Dad’s trust all worked out. Maybe having all the furniture out will not make it seem as much as it is. Whatever.

My plan is to get Stanley Steamer to come in while I’m in L.A. to get the carpets done in 2 of the bedrooms. We shall see how this goes. With my luck, I won’t be able to get to it until I get back. It would be nice just to be able to come home to clean carpets, but alas, I don’t think it’s going to happen.

Add to that I have to move it all back when I return, which means I’m going to have to cook some more. I’ll figure something out.

Shit. And there’s more stuff to be done today. It’s never finished.

Got 2000 words in today, plus some yoga and work at the bar, so all in all it was a very good day.

But I had to read if i was a frog today, just because things have been so crazy lately, and sometimes you just have to remind yourself where you are. I would link it, but I can’t seem to get into my archives right now to find it. It’s somewhere back in February or March of this year.

And I’m finding some interesting inspirations at Jonathan Caroll’s new White Apples journal.

I’m wondering about a novel that I’d started last summer, but I’d only gotten about 70 pages through, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not mature enough to write it. The idea of it strangely intrugues me, and I may just try and re-write it altogether with the same characters. But right now I don’t think I could finish it because I don’t feel that confident about it. I’ll keep the notes around just in case.

I might be shutting a couple of my blogs down. There’s really no reason for them to be around anymore. But it also depends on what happens computer wise here pretty soon.

Many things to be done before leaving.

Don’t look at me like that, you’re making me nervous.