wish you were here

Happy New Year.

Samhain is a day to remember the dead– your friends, your ancestors, and the role they played to get you here. It’s the one day that they have a voice in the world. For me, it’s a day to reflect, maybe mourn a little, and remember. Today, instead of just one person, it’s become many people that I remember: Mom, Dad, Grandma Mary-Ann, Grandma Rojas, Eric. I leave empty chairs at the dinner table for them.

The wheel keeps turning, and every cycle brings its own lessons. This year, I had to learn how to live, for the first time, without the safety net of my father. From the maiden, we all become motherly in some ways, like a crone in others. We have to learn how to become older. I don’t mind getting older, I just wish it wouldn’t happen so quickly sometimes. I’ll probably regret saying that later when I have a back spasm.

Anyway, whoever stops by this here blog today I hope you have lots of sugar, lots of merry times, and fer crying out loud, drop me an email or something!

A legend killed.

What should piss everyone off about this is that Run DMC wasn’t ever involved in any of this bullshit.

I was talking to someone about seeing Run DMC last year at OBC. All the twenty somethings knew every word to “It’s Like That”:

If you really think about it times aren’t that bad
The one that flexes with successes will make you glad
Stop playing start praying, you won’t be sad
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is
Huh!

I now have a new faucet and re-sealed sink. Hopefully my water bill next month will reflect that. Then again, I probably just cursed myself by plugging one hole when another one is probably opening a vortex somewhere else in my life.

Off to dinner.

I didn’t mention that Minus the Bear is coming to Roma on the 16th? I think with all these good shows having come to town this year, I probably could’ve died a happy girl– except that the novel wouldn’t have gotten published.

For crying out loud, you’d think I’d know how to check my HTML before I friggin’ publish.

I’m not fully a Sunny Day Real Estate fan quite yet, but I do know enough to realize that this new Fire Theft does sound a little familiar, crossed with some weird Soul Asylum possession. I just want to download “Black Gold” just for old times sake…

I don’t know if it’s me lately, but I see a strange 90′s resurrgence coming on. With Nirvana postumously releasing a new song and a new Pearl Jam album coming out, it’s a wonder we’re all not breaking out the old flannel. (Except for Mikey, of course, who’s always had it out, since day one.)

As for me, I still have yet to buy some stuff.

And just to assuage everybody’s fears, I really am okay. Sometimes it just doesn’t feel like it.

Ever since I’ve been home I haven’t written anything. And after being away for so long and getting a lot done it’s a little depressing. I should’ve been taking a break when I was away, but that would’ve been too easy. Now that I’m home, I’m not necessarily blocked, just not in the mode to be productive. This, too, shall pass.

Right?

If you all would be so kind as to cross some various appendages for me, it would be greatly appreciated.

The sink will be fixed today. This makes me happy. And I’m getting a cable modem soon too. This too makes me happy.

I had a very strange thought the other night when I was talking to Chip: I can’t wait to get older. For some reason, that thought occurred to me, and I’m not exactly sure why it was comforting. Don’t get me wrong, I love being the age I’m at, doing the things I’m doing. I do like being 24, if only because so many things haven’t been done in my life yet and everything’s so wide open and ripe. If I’d really want to put it that way. But seeing people who are comfortable with being over 50 is something I have to say I look up to. I don’t think my father ever got comfortable with being 50; there was just something about it, and maybe a lot of it had to do with my mother being gone, but he had his mid-life crises and never quite recovered. I like to think that my mother actually looked forward to being 50, even though she never got there.

On a different note, there are some plans in the works involving Lost. We’ll see what happens.

Still haven’t heard anything about the sink yet. The sad part is that I’m having a Kevin Smith themed Halloween costume party on Thursday, and I’m praying everyone will be told that the sink leaks very badly as they walk in and the party won’t turn into some kind of fucked-up mess like some past swarays have been.

Shit. That means I have to clean tomorrow. Major cleanup must be done.

Oh. And I almost forgot. I pretty much folded in Larger Than Letters. There really wasn’t much of a reason for me to keep it up anymore, other than waiting for server space to put up remixes. If I get a wild hair up my bum later on I might resurrect it. Just not right now.

Our new computer at work is more tempting to download shit on than to actually use for work, shamefully enough.