wish you were here

So to make myself feel better after last night (because Andy’s performance was so spot on and I should have been more attentive with making sure everything was kosher), this morning I went to Guitar Center, bought a 1-line mixer, and tested it out by recording a bunch of my own stuff.

Basically I realized that the noise coming through on the recording basically came down to the fact that I was recording straight from the PA and the little mic on this here laptop couldn’t handle it. Thus the purchase of the mixer this morning.

And I also bought an extra chord for just-in-case.

So, basically, if you want me to record in the next couple of weeks (even live, the mixer’s that small, so I can take it anywhere) let me know and I can get you done in a day.

I pretty much have the tracks done for my CD. I may try to record a couple of things at Jitter’s tonight if there’ll be people there.

I’m also taking suggestions for titles for the CD, if you guys have any.

There was all this buildup for last night’s feature, because it was going to be recorded for CDs for the tour, and what happens? The recording is filled with this really annoying noise. It was Andy’s 5th attempt at recording a CD.

WTF, mate.

Had a great weekend. Paying for it with regular girly problems and just general-not-feeling-well-ness today.

Tomorrow will be better.

Fonzie got neutered today.

Productivity.

Just finished re-writing the prologue for Lost, and now it feels a lot better, a little more like an actual introduction instead of sounding as hokey was it was before, and setting up a little more of a mythical quality rather than being childishly explaining things.

I haven’t gone back to that story in over a year. And seeing it again, I find myself reading it because I forgot what I wrote.

And I did an outline for The Evil Chick Brigade, since I figure that it’s good to encapsulate things like that for people, and I may do some expanding on it soon. I’m not sure where though.

The room got a little more cleared out, so that feels a little better.

Been thinking about which poems I want to do next week opening up for Uncle Andy, since I’m going to be recording for the CD. I have an idea, but I want to keep it balanced– not too humorous, but not too serious. I want both. I’m that kinda girl. I have a couple of things already recorded, so that makes it a little better.

And then there’s graphics and layout for said CD and the chapbook. I need to get these things all done in the next week, preferably before May 1st or thereabouts.

And, hopefully after all of that, it’ll give me time to practice for the tour.

Sorry I’ve been so quiet. There hasn’t been much going on, except for family drama, which I’ve blessedly been kept out of: my sister-in-law called me late Friday night to tell me that my brother had, in his drunken stupor, told her everything. She told me she was going to her Mom’s, I told her be careful, and left it at that, even though she tried calling me incessantly about 30 minutes later. I refused to answer the phone. Other than that, no calls or visits from anybody over the weekend, and I haven’t felt bad about that in the least. It’s not my marriage, not my problems to work out.

Other than the phone call, Friday night at Cheer’s was actually fun. On the flipside of my brother’s problems, I found out that my two friends, Miles and Jackie, are getting married in October. They’re two good people, and I’m happy they’re together. They’re one of those couples that I’ve known each one individually for years, but seeing them together now it makes complete and total sense.

I’ve been trying to write a little in my new journal, but it’s not quite happening right now. But a little something, even if it’s crap, is something.

There’s also a new story developing in my head that wants to be written, but I can’t figure out if it’s going to be a novel or screenplay yet.

And I’ve been researching small presses about the novels. I want to get on that ball when I get back from tour.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t have enough writing to make it. But I do, and it’s just waiting for the right time.

So.

I bought a new laptop. On the cheap: DVD/CD-RW, 30 gigs of memory, 256 MB of RAM, wireless internet ready, new Dell. Scott ended up with it, for free, after buying his own laptop, and had called them to ask, but they deny it ever existed, so barring anyone else putting up an offer, here I am at the Coffee Bean typing away and maybe asking if I can borrow movies from people to try and burn.

I’m using it right now to distract me from everything going on with Sean. There’s so much wrong going on with him, and I argued with my sister-in-law on the phone today, and there’s just so much he’s not willing to say or bring up, and I’m really really glad to have Marie at the bar on my side.

He thinks I don’t know what I want to do. I do. And I’m doing it. He thinks I’m getting paid for hardly doing anything. I think I’m getting paid to be The Good Kid and inadvertantly making Sean look like an asshole when he goes off and I have to make everything look good at the bar.

But. We both have enough shit to argue about back and forth that we could almost cancel each other out with our respective amounts of bullshit and drama. Except I don’t really have any drama, and whatever shit I can’t handle gets turned into poetry.

God I’m going to be so happy to be on tour.

Ah yes.

It was really nice to have Natalie here this weekend. Her husband Alex is a sweet guy who’s still adjusting to being in the States after 6 months. I know that feeling. But his English is pretty dammed good for having been here only that long and knowing very little before being here.

Plus it was just good to see Nat and see that she’s a lot happier now that he’s here and they have their own apartment together. I get a really good feeling being around the both of them together, that their lives are coming together and it’s positive. And after seeing Nat alone for a couple of years without him, seeing her now is a complete turnaround. I’m really happy for them.

And I was able to have a little bit of a writing break, with a little drinking tonight at Fadó and some hanging out at Noreen’s. It’s weird– when I’m kind of in the mood to hang there I have a good time. Mostly I don’t like hanging at work because it’s, like, work. Eventually, even if it’s slow there, I have to be in the office at some point. But tonight I didn’t mind at all, despite the fact that Sean had left a mess in the office earlier because he was out last night. (And he wants to ask me what I want to do with my life?)

Tomorrow’s Easter. Just another day for me now. I remember that on just about every Easter Dad would buy me one of those big ‘ol Easter baskets full of silly toys and chocolate. To be honest, I don’t really miss the baskets because it was so much crap that either I ended up throwing it out or it wound up in the closet. I just miss the cards that he’d leave with the baskets with a simple “I love you” inside. And I miss dying eggs with Mom. And her making deviled eggs with the ones she’d hid and Sean and I found around the house.

Now those kind of holidays are spent writing and remembering and preparing for… something.

Yesterday I went to go pick out tile for my floor. Finally. It’s textured, with rust/dark reddish-brown/black brushes of color in it. Really big tiles, too. It’s gonna be cool.

Now that that’s done, I can start getting the rest of what I want ready– paint for the walls, cloth to hang from the ceiling, floor rugs. I have a $50 gift cert from Psychic Eye my sister-in-law bought for me, though I’m not sure if I want to spend it on getting a new sheet for my bed, or buying useful things to actually cleanse the room with when it’s done.

I want to have the walls and ceiling done when I leave for tour. The floor’s going to be done while I’m gone. I want to come back to a whole new room.

Right now, there’s a little cleaning up to do, but that’s easy stuff. I still have furniture to move into the garage, and I’m willing to bribe with food and alcohol for help with that and painting.

Nat’s going to be here this weekend. I finally get to meet her husband, who I’ve only said ni hao to on an internet phone. With 3/5ths of the Evil Chick Brigade together, it’ll be, er, interesting.

I think I’m getting impatient about going on tour. I’m so excited to get out of here and do poetry for strangers I have to keep myself busy to keep from going nuts. And busy for someone like me who doesn’t have a normal job means frequenting coffeeshops, even if you don’t particularly like the coffee, and reading and writing, bottle of water at your side.

Actually, I should do some site tweaking before I leave town. There are things in the works. Kind of.

Going to the gym has been, well, going well. I can’t really see any results in my body, but maybe that’s just me. I can tell there are changes going on, but they aren’t all that significant to me.

I wish things were interesting.

Actually, scratch that. I’m glad they aren’t. I don’t have to deal with bullshit that way.

I should say: I’m glad the interesting things are planned right now.