October « 2006 « wish you were here

Archive for October, 2006

and happy samhain.

Oct 31st, 06 / 0 Comments

Happy Birthday, Uncle Andy!

So I’ve been completely unmotivated for the past week. I haven’t felt like running. At all. My fear is that it’s because the holidays are fast approaching and my body will want to go on shutdown. Also, not wanting to write either. That makes me very worried.

I’ve been Frankensteining a computer for the bar for the past couple of weeks, and that’s also made me unmotivated for anything else but getting that together. While I’m learning a lot about computer components, it’s been more than frustrating when the solution you’re so sure works doesn’t work. But it’s made me think about wanting to build computers. Maybe if I’m really motivated for a side-business, I guess. Unfortunately, my cheap ass love for free software might not be the best business model.

So. Thursday. Placebo. Yeah, so I haven’t been to a concert in a very long time. I just don’t get out to shows anymore. And I was planning with Scotty to go to this show, and got an offer for 2-for-1 tickets the week before, so maybe that was a sign and a half to get tickets.

But the show itself was great. Brian Malko shaved his head. It was a little weird. But his voice was absolutely perfect. The band was tight. What was refreshing was that they didn’t play “Pure Morning.” As much as I love that song, it was nice not to hear it. But they did play their cover of “Running Up That Hill” which was gorgeous.

Plus, an ex was there. Is he an ex? We had sex and ate breakfast at Bagels n’ More on Sunday mornings. He let me use his toothbrush. Yet we never had the State of the Union. The fuck do you call that, an Arrangement? Regardless of the description, it’s funny that a person you used to have sex with doesn’t even give you a tension-filled “Hey, what’s up.” And thinking about my current relationship situation, I’m miles away from whatever the hell that was.

And as of yesterday, it’s been 3 months. I keep thinking of what Sean Astin as Sam Gamgee said, “One more step, and this is the furthest away from home I’ve ever been.” And I guess if you substitute the safety of being single in for the word “home,” then maybe it’s true.

A lot to do this week, gotta get to it.

catching up, music

to bed, but some blogish post-its.

Oct 20th, 06 / 0 Comments

I will write about the Placebo show that happened tonight. This weekend, it’ll be true.

And some writing about exes may, inveitably, ensue.

I just rhymed. Fuck that. There are other things that have happened over the week, that I need to process and talk about a little (in real life, like) before I say anything. No, seriously, it’s been fine, I just need to process.

I hate that feeling at this point of the evening when you’re not sure it’s either the sleep dep or the alcohol talking. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have a clearer picture. Not maybe. I will. I just need to sleep a little. I’m tired. G’night.

about town

not one for political posts.

Oct 17th, 06 / 0 Comments

But this scares the living crap out of me.

I wonder, like many other people, WTF an “enemy combatant” is.

WTF-ness

not sure what to do with it.

Oct 17th, 06 / 0 Comments

poetry

feeling the need to post.

Oct 17th, 06 / 0 Comments

I would post new poetry, but I don’t have it with me here at work. It’s a slow week around here this week, which is good for me.

Been thinking quite a bit lately about this Heinlein quote: A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Things that I’m not doing: training enough, reading enough, writing enough.
Things that I am doing: taking it one day at a time, being thankful for what I have, figuring shit out.

Being able to say No is probably the best thing I’ve done today. And Scott said the most lucid thing to me last week that I’ve heard in months: “If you feel like writing you should. You don’t owe anyone your time.”

I’ve been pondering handing over my hosting duties for months. I just don’t know if anyone cares enough to want to host at the Hookah. I feel like I should just be holing myself up at ReJavaNate with my notebooks and my laptop for the next few months and getting some short stories going.

And J-Rock just handed me a nice chunk of Hershey’s chocolate with cranberry and macadamia in it. I’m gonna do that, now.

Music : Howard Stern in the office. Hey now! Oh my!

catching up