Archive for June, 2007

being productive is awesome.

Getting critiqued today wasn’t as bad as I had built it up in my head. I think I just had all that buildup because the story was really a first draft, like right out of longhand first draft, and I was just freaking out that everyone was going to ask me how I even ended up here.

But that’s just me. I’m okay now. Promise.

After almost a full week, I’m already feeling myself changing my writing, looking for those things that are really problematic even on a small level. I love that shit.

I only have one request for folks back home: please blog for me. Not that I’m all Weather Channel, needing updates every 5 minutes, but I’m so off and on with IM because of the work I’m doing here (revising a submission story, working on a new story, and reading and critiquing about 3 stories a day) that it’s nice to read how everyone’s doing when I have a free minute. It’s only been a week, I know, but I feel like I’m in a bubble sometimes.

And I found that drawing random things with big chalk on the courtyard concrete is a fun way to take a brain break.

The best part so far about the UCSD campus, and I’ll take pictures later, is the tiled snake coiling up around a big marble book with a quote from Paradise Lost, further up around a small bench with a sweet little garden of tallish trees, ending with the snake’s tongue flicking at the Geisel Library. You know, named after Theodor Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss.

And seriously, if you come see me, I’ll show you.

  
Music : Charles Wright - Express Yourself

busy-ness.

I was starting on a post, and it got eaten.

What I was going to say was that my intentions with blogging coming to Clarion was more about the emotional journey for me, a recalibrating of me as a social being in a workshop environment that I haven’t been in in 7 years. Long ass time. So far, it’s been going well. The girl I was back in my senior year of college is definitely not so much around anymore, and I really like that.

And I just turned in my first story to be critiqued by everyone else. Let me just say: even though I’ve done poetry in front of hundreds of people all over the place, and even though I spoke in front of thousands of people at a State Funeral, I have never been so scared as I was about 50 minutes ago when I turned in my story.

My brother called today about stuff at home that he told me he was going to take care of, and now I have to make a bunch of phone calls that I don’t have time for. I tried to get across to him how actually busy I am, and he still didn’t get it. I literally am only available for about 5 minutes between right after 1pm. When I told him I literally don’t have time to have an extended conversation with anyone, he acted like I didn’t just say that.

And add the conversation about slam drama yesterday, and I’m feeling very sour.

Anyway, I’m blogging and not reading stories, but I was planning on staying up anyway. Off to read.

  

tiny post.

I’m very busy. Actually, I feel very behind.

Um, I love it here. Can I just be Clarion, like, all the time?

Also, here’s a little open letter:

Dear Las Vegas Poetry Drama,

STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND. I’M DONE WITH YOU.

Love, truly.
Kari

Not kidding.

Anyway, it’s late, and I have stuff to write before bed. Writing. Remember that, folks?

Miss you.

  
Music : Zach Condon (Beirut) - Venice

here.

Frazzled, fried and knackered, just like mom likes.

The drive was uneventful. A couple of slow bits, but everything worked out fine.

And that’s about it.

  
Music : oh, silence.

I’m packed.

The house is a wreck.

Tonight was nice. But anti-climactic. Like, in an annoying way. But what in my life isn’t anymore.

I’ll be up in a few hours to drive.

I’ll blog when I get there. And while I’m there. I mean, if I’m not having too much, you know, fun.

  
Music : Serenity in the next room

seriously.

I’m not that bad when I say I’m doing laundry and starting packing tomorrow, right?

And that story I’m working on? Still probably won’t be finished by the time I leave. But it’s not for lack of effort. I just. Get distracted. Like last night. By wanting to play trivia. Or something.

But I did clear the clutter out of the car, so that’s a plus. I’m going to try and wash it tomorrow. And Fonzie goes to the brother’s house tomorrow as well, so I can clean the house before I leave.

I have a HOA thing to get cleared up before I leave as well, but my head’s been somewhere else. Like on a beach.

  
Music : Attack Of The Show in the other room

not exactly a case of teh Mondays.

A late-night kind of weekend makes me all wonky today. Motor skills are not cooperating.

I have this story I’m trying to finish before Clarion (leaving Saturday! Jesus.) I started it sometime at the beginning of the year, and it’s so close to the finish line. And then the pages seem to get, I don’t know. Pregnant, a bigger belly of pages. It’s frustrating.

Anyway, big ups to Sean for his run on Lysistrata. Bidness. Is. Good.

Is it bad that I’m very happy to be watching local poetry scene drama go on without me being involved in any way, shape, or form? I mean, drama sucks, right? That’s the normal bloggy thing to say. But having been dropped out for so long, it’s pleasing to see fires being started, and I’ll be watching to see what happens while I’m gone. 6 weeks is a long time when you’re in a different bubble from that scene.

It’s 4 in the afternoon, and I have to go for a run today. I’m hitting a plateau with my weight, and I’m frustrated. I was telling Mikey and Sean on Saturday that I need to seriously get cracking with the calories and running in SD. Running clears my head out, and that time will be very important when I’m immersed in a full-on creative environment.

Yeah. Office Depot run, then a real gym run. And work has to get done tonight.

  
Music : Palo Nutina in the office

dad.

Above all, he taught me to be myself.

He taught me how to write a check. Drive a car. Drop slot machines. Listening. That I should have fun. Don’t get old, kid. Don’t show your money. Be careful. Drop a dime once in awhile. Warsh your clothes. Warsh the dishes. Warsh the car. Finish things. Don’t be afraid. Be proud. Keep going. Cursing. Respect. Deceit. Love. And love. Perverseness. Have a smile, even when they’re an asshole. Be an asshole, even when you’re being nice. Dimples. Taking a chance. Being embarrassed, sometimes, is good. I don’t care what you’re doing, as long as you’re happy. Don’t smoke. Don’t do drugs. Buy drinks sometimes. Let them buy you a drink sometimes. Show up. Smile. Always have pocket money. Ride a go-kart. Ride rolley-coasters. Bumper boats. Water slides. The Atlantic. The Pacific. Hawaii. Ireland. England. Florida. California. Mesquite. Laughlin. Fishing at Lake Mead. My jump rope coach in Tempe, Arizona. My life coach when Mom died. My life coach when you died. My life coach when Uncle Bobby died. Mint chocolate chip sundaes at Baskin-Robbins. Spaghetti at Fortunato’s. Lobster at The Broiler. Happy Meals at McDonald’s. Roy Rogers fried chicken in Atlantic City. Quarters for Frogger. Go explore the desert. Don’t make Mom mad. Don’t be mean to your brother. And love. And love. Love.

Our National Anthem was “You Are My Sunshine.”

I miss him a lot this year.

  
Music : Tori Amos - a sorta fairytale

nice.

Had a fun time catching up last night. 2 weeks, seriously?

We talked about how Fridays have become our little ritual, and now we’ll have 6 weeks of not having it. Guess we’ll have to replace each other with robots or something.

I feel better today. Obviously, being able to go out a drink to let off steam was very helpful. But overall in my head I feel better. I’m finally feeling normal after last week’s Bachelorette Party Bubble.

Got a couple more things to see at CineVegas this weekend, and then I have a somewhat busy week ahead. Laundry and packing and hanging out, oh my!

  
Music : my head, ringing a little.

well.

Do you hear that sound? It’s me wiping my hands clean of the current state of the Las Vegas Slam Scene. And don’t bother leaving me comments explaining it, because I’m done.

Um, I was supposed to have at least one night to myself this week, but it’s not happening because I have to cover CineVegas for work, because we fenagled free passes. I mean, not that I mind the free passes, but I’m basically in and out of the house right now.

I am very tired and stressed out. San Diego can’t get here soon enough.